Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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