your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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