The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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