You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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