Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
