Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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