Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize