I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
