I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
