just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
