it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
