either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
