Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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