I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
