We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Randomize
