I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize