Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
never play flip cup with pint glasses
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
