My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
