Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
