Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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