i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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