She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
