i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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