I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
