Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
