? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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