Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
