That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
