She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
