Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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