Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
