Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
