I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
