Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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