remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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