woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
