I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
