singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
