I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
