no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
