But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
