watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
