we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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