I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
