You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
