when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
