just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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