i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
