So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
