If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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