You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
