Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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