We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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