did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
