Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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