I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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