So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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