Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
