i barfeds in our rink
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
