I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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