please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize