Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
