some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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