OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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