I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
