Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
