if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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