We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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